It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize