I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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