i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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