I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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