Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
