During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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