we made out on top of his cat.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
