if you like me you must not know who I am
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
