I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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