Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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