I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
