THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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