Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
