i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
