we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
