Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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