garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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