Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
