Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
