just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize