Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just puked most of my soul out..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
