You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
