when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize