Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
