i just google imaged poop.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
