so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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