is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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