He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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