HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
