Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
