Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
