It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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