I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wish I only lived at night.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My ass is underappreciated
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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