found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize