i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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