no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
