we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize