I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
