Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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