i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
