I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
