it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
