I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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