Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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