my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
