for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
