My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
