I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
