I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
