So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize