id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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