I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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