I wannas sexs uuuuu
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
