What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
