woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
