Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you traded sex for a burrito?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
