My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So squirting runs in the family.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
