You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
